I noticed something about myself recently..I stopped talking about my anxiety on social media. It was something I use to do all the time and I haven't been so open about it in the last 6 months. I used to feel the urge to share so much about my mental health online. My highs.. my lows, and my struggles to live day to day with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). It was therapeutic to share what I had gone through and was going through, especially when the response was always incredibly positive. It helped me to help others and talking about it so publicly became an outlet for me.
We live in a different world now than when I was younger. The health and wellness industry has blown up and there's much less of a stigma around mental health. (Don't get me wrong, we still have ways to go... but its MUCH better than it was when I was growing up). With more and more information coming out about the pharmaceutical industry, (read more here) and research about the benefits of CBD coming to light.. the world is changing! In my opinion, in a really good way.
So.. why did I stop talking about my anxiety on social media? It actually took me a bit of time to understand why. I did't even really notice it until recently, when I got a card from a buddy thanking me for speaking as a panel member for an event about anxiety. Then soon after, a follower sent me a DM asking me for some tips for having anxiety and flying. Once May 1st hit, and I remembered that May is Mental Health Awareness month.. it all hit me. It's been MONTHS since I've spoken about it on social media. I wasn't even able to take part in Mindstrong this year, because of work commitments. For those of you that don't know Mindstrong is an amazing fitness event that takes place ever year where they raise funds for the Psychiatry Inpatient Unit and mental health services at the Jewish General Hospital. They had their annual event last week and raised 1.4 million dollars! I was very much involved last year and I credit this organization for giving me the courage to discuss my mental health online.
I stopped talking about it my mental health because I stopped having as much anxiety... and I didn't know how to truly be honest about how I got there. I didn't even realize at first.. but my anxiety slowly and surely got much better over the last year. Yes, there are still days where my chest feels heavy and the world feels like it's going to explode.. but it's not like it used to be. I am more in control of my thoughts and my actions. I credit this to the gym (BEYOND thankful for Victoria Park), CBD (Which I have been scared to share because people can be judgemental when they don't understand) and to the book The Secret.
When I was medicated, I had no control over my thoughts.. I didn't really have too many to be honest. I was lazy, tired, unmotivated, hungry.. and still pretty anxious. For some people, meds are great. If you feel like you are happier, healthier from whatever it is you've been prescribed, then that's wonderful. I applaud you for figuring out what works for you and finding the right recipe. I didn't have a good experience with medication or my doctor... to say the least.
Now, I am HAPPY. Probably the happiest I've ever been. Here's why:
“Ego says, “Once everything falls into place, I'll feel peace.”
Spirit says, “Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place.”
When I took my life into my own hands and found what worked for me.. EVERYTHING started working out. Sometimes I feel like pinching myself.. I swear.. all I can say is that the universe can be your best friend if you don't give a FUCK about anyone else and do whats good for you. My dream of owning a successful business with my twin came true, I married the love of my life, people I looked up to became my friends and so much more. This all happened AFTER I started getting healthier and finding my peace. Once I started listening to myself and making my own decisions about my mental health.. my life turned around. I choose to handle my anxiety in my own way because I know who I am, I know what I need, and I will never let anyone tell me what I should or shouldn't do. If it makes me happier, makes my mental health and my life better then...why not? I'm done with small minded people making judgements on what I should and shouldn't do.
The number one thing I get asked about from my followers is about my anxiety & mental health. Yes, people ask me about my workout tips, my hair, and where my pantsuit is from (definitely MASKA ...lol), and who does my makeup yada yada....but when I was sharing about anxiety.. it was an overwhelming response of dm after dm after dm. I really hope that one day I can be more open with all of you about CBD, and what's worked for me. It makes me feel guilty because I wish I could share more about what has helped me.. and I will in time.. as the world continues to evolve and change. To all of you who reached out to me in the past about mental health, please continue to do so. I will always advocate for it and try to help others through my story no matter what.
(Click HERE to find out more about CBD)